1 post tagged “tears bisexual family”
The Holidays went by so fast didn't they? Now classes have started again and I am still wondering what I am going to do after I graduate. Christmas and New Years rushed by this year but thank fully I had a somewhat enjoyable Holiday. I had to cancel going out because me and my niece both came down with Fifths disease, I still look like a tomato..I got three books for Christmas Two Stephenie Meyer books (Twilight and New Moon) and How to Hear From God by Joyce Meyer. My father doesn't like the fact that I listen, read and watch Joyce Meyer's. For those of you who do not know who she is she is a Pastor who comes on TV alot. My father is the type of person who would rather me listen to some Hell Fire and Brimstone preacher aka...Billy Graham or I shudder to think John Haggey...(shudders)....Now I have nothing against them other then I think they are chauvenistic dweebs that spend to much time in the old test ament and Revelations..My father said that he couldnt understand why I would want to listen to a woman preach when men are supposed to be the only ones allowed to....I told him I could join Lesbianism and he dropped the subject....
Here is a little back story for you to help you see what Is coming....In my Sophmore year of High School I realized when I was making out with a friend of mine that I was bi-sexual of course the fact that I was making out with a girl should have tipped me off in the first place but then again I didnt know a whole lot about the 'Sexuality' thing then either. I made the mistake of telling my sister, not realizing that I was feeding the enemy vital information that would help them during a battle...So my sister kept this a secret for some time, and I thought she had forgotten it...Silly silly me.....She hadnt.
It was New Years Day...My family was all over...My family had been getting along quite well and I should have considered this the sign of the appocolpyse to come....silly silly me...
As the day went on things became...strained....One teasing remark between my sister and brother with my dad lead to an argument. I stayed out of it knowing that sometimes things could get violent, like the time my dad broke my brothers nose, any ways I stayed out of it....However, you know when there is an argument and someone agrees with one person and the other person agrees with the other side? Yep, it happened. Sister and dad on one side of the fight...mom and brother on the other...and little old me wanting to run screaming from the room.....When I agreed with my mom and brother, I knew I had made a mistake, that I should have just took my chances an ran the hell away.
My sister started yelling at me "Oh of course side with mom like you always do" and a few other comments that made me angry. Oh, I knew I should have just stayed silent....walk away...forgive and forget.....however, she said some pretty harsh things...and the next thing I know...Im dragging up her past boyfriends...the time she was arrested and her embarassing our family......
,My dear friends....I was a bubbling cauldren of intense emotions, I was feeling liberated...I was feeling confidant...I was forgetting she knew some personal things...I forgot how vendictive my sister was...I was suddenly backing away from my family in horror as I realized that during my elation at yelling and fighting back ....my sister had given me away...Not a big deal some would say...you would be wrong.....For years I had been fighting against my family for the right to just let anyone that was in a same sex relationship be left alone....to let them have their own lives...mainly because I swung both ways myself...But even though I am BI and not 100% gay...it didnt matter to my father...or brother...which I guess hurt more then I would admitt...mom said she had figured it out some time ago..(apparently she caught me ).I mean for heavens sake I went on a date with a girl from church....he knew...I mean really?!?! Still....I went from having a decent and nice Christmas to horror and embarassement in moments...My father has this nack of destroying someone....he does it amazingly well...I thought me and my dad had come to an agreement...I thought our truce would be held up...I should have known better....SO here I am...bursting into tears every 20 minutes...
I dont think I have stopped crying since New Years Day.....Ive kept to my bedroom. trying to find jobs that would have a nice sum of money so I can save up and get away from here faster...I sent applications out and I just want out....It hurts having a family thats completly filled with jack asses....Soooo........Now that is my rant of the day...I think I just busted through my writers block...who knew that Blogging could help you with something like writers block lol.
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Ladykind
